FLOURISH & BLOTTING

beauty, travel & lifestyle

1 Nov 2017

The Mummy IQ

I have been toying with writing this post for so long because I guess it could be misconstrued as being offensive? I definitely don't mean it to be as I am the first to hold my hands up and admit that I am totally guilty of this too.

I mean, I have purchased the DVD's and the apps. Thankfully the DVD's remain fully wrapped in their cellophane.. for now anyway. I think as new mums we don't realise that all babies are different, and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.. annoyingly! Fickle little things that they are.

But when did we start blaming the dreaded "leap 5" (What a load of tosh!) for an off day - surely they have mood swings like the rest of us? Or the fact that our hungry child isn't sleeping? Don't get me wrong, breastfeeding definitely has its benefits but how do you figure that past 4 months the same amount of milk will do? Yes, teething is probably to blame too, I can't hold breastfeeding solely responsible, but whip that Calpol out and you're kinda set. Admittedly, I have learnt that most of this parenting lark is down to timing and sheer luck. That, and a pretty rigid routine.

I feel like as a new mum there is so much pressure to do all these seemingly ridiculous classes. I look at them so sceptically like, will Phoebe remember, or even benefit from an hour of stretching, breathing and massage? Doubtful! Or mummy making fool of herself singing along to the most ridiculous songs..maybe. The only class we do partake in is swimming because I can see the merit in that. Swimming and being comfortable in the water is a pretty important life skill, right?

I guess what irks me the most is that supposedly smart women are completely sucked in, and it is like they can't communicate efficiently anymore, or just communicate in general. In a room full of first time mums I have been talked over, dismissed and just generally not acknowledged. Nice! I mean, give me a conversation without the sniff of a mention of a baby with a first time mum and I will give you a medal. I swear, I will talk about  Last of the Summer Wine if it meant no baby chat. I find it.. exhausting! I spend all day, every day with a baby I don't want every conversation I have to be about it too!

Also we tend to either listen too much (thanks Dr. Google), or just not enough. James is a pharmacist and kinda knows his stuff when it comes to minor ailments, like a rash for example. If he says something needs anti fungal cream, I get anti fungal cream (the majority of the time), not breastmilk, no. Just no.

I have kind of given up now, my eyes can't roll any further back, and I just I can't be bothered to talk loud enough to be heard over the absolute din of first time mums and their prattle. I mean where does our sense go?! Normal baby behaviour is suddenly like 'Omg my baby has started licking their lips.. is that ok?' Believe me, that's not the worst of it.

I also find it absolutely mortifying that there are pregnant YouTubers, some of our biggest influencers, choosing to go private. Hardly achievable for us mere mortals, right? But also, where does that leave the NHS? Are they promoting that our health service isn't good enough? In my opinion it looks like real scare tactics for soon to be mums. I think what they forget is that their 'private' care is often led by NHS trained midwives anyway.

When I was pregnant with Phoebe I could not fault the care I received. When I gave birth and things started to go a little bit south they were quick to rush me into theatre and made me feel perfectly safe  at all times. Obviously, I know that not everyone receives the same quality of care as I did, the NHS is definitely not without its faults, but where does that leave it when some of the biggest influencers in the blogging world won't use it?

Love, Jo
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